Happy FIRST Mother’s Day, Hope!

This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while! And there is NO better time than Mother’s Day weekend!

A little over a year ago, I blogged about Hope & Kip. I’ve known Hope for most of her life. Her mom has been my best friend for over 20 years. Our families are “framilies.” Friends that are family. Last year, Hope & Kip shared on THIS post about their struggles with infertility. They tried to have a baby for many years, but it just wasn’t happening for them. They both came to a place of surrendering their plan to God’s will. Here’s an excerpt from what Kip shared last March:

There was a chasm between our plan and God’s will. We have been unable to conceive a child. And that was God’s will for us. We are commanded to give thanks for this and to be joyful. We knew it would be painful to move away from our desire but we rested in this verse because we were moving closer to God. And today we feel joyful. We are incredibly thankful for God to have put us on this path.

Now we wait. We joyfully prepare our hearts to be matched with a birth mother. We wait to meet the child God has chosen for us – our child. We are truly joyful that we will have the opportunity to love and support a child. We know that without adoption this opportunity may be lost to us. And while we are joyful, we are also aware of another loss. Our hearts ache for the mother of our child, who will experience profound loss when she places her child for adoption. We pray that she too will find joy. We are profoundly thankful for her because she will shepherd this child through the most vulnerable time of its young life. She too is an integral participant in God’s plan for our child. And now we wait – joyfully.

Fast forward later that summer. I was at an event in our Georgia listening area. I had a sweet listener come up to me and say, “you tell your friends that I am praying for them and their future baby every. single. day! It’s happening for them. I feel it. They’re never far from my thoughts. I’ve adopted three children myself.”

Fast forward to Fall. I am sitting at my kitchen table returning email one afternoon, and THIS text pops up on my phone:

The emotions that were felt that day are simply indescribable! The season of waiting was over. I remember calling Caroline, Hope’s younger sister, and just crying and screaming into the phone. We had prayed and waited and prayed and waited. For years!

Hope & Kip were now the proud parents of a sweet baby girl! We celebrated last year with a huge baby shower. I kid you not, I’ve never seen so many women at one shower. Just proof positive of how incredibly loved this family is. We prayed a blessing over this child, and it was a moment that marked each of us. They have both said on multiple occasions they now understand the wait. They had to wait for her! All the puzzle pieces fit. And the hole that was in their hearts is no longer there. They both just beam with pure joy! It’s so heartening to witness. They are incredible parents! Just the other day Kellie sent me a video of Kip playing with his daughter. It was the cutest thing ever. It’s a small glimpse of this side of heaven.

I asked Hope if I could share this full circle moment here for Mother’s Day weekend, and she said, “Yes, absolutely! And please let everyone know how much we appreciate everyone praying for us. Their prayers were surely felt.”

Happy FIRST Mother’s Day, Hope!
{And, Kip, Happy almost FIRST Father’s Day to you, too!}
I love y’all so so much!

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Josh. Part 1. The Story.

Meet my friend Josh. A few months ago, Josh was in town, and we were at a local coffee shop catching up on life, industry biz, and the things God has taught us in the last few years. Josh has always been one of my favorite colleagues. He’s been one of TMC’s BIGGEST cheerleaders since we were introduced many years ago. He regularly texts the 3 of us (me, Dave & Bill) encouraging messages, and lets us know that he’s listening. One of things I love most about Josh is that he really is a fan of the music. He’s not allowed life, failures, or jadedness to seep into his heart.

Over coffee, Josh challenged me to step it up on my blog. He told me what I already knew. “You could be doing so much more, Carmen!” And he is right. I don’t write nearly as often as I should. I have ideas in my head all the time; they just rarely make it to fingers & keyboard. But, being the opportunist that I am, I said to Josh, “Guest blog for me. Tell my friends everything you just told me. Oh, and throw in a recipe too.” Josh loves to cook. I also asked him to share a story behind a song he has worked. And yes, that last line is “industry speak.” Josh is what you call a “Record Promoter.” Record labels hire him to promote singles to radio stations. There is A LOT more that goes into it than just this. As a matter of fact, there’s SO MUCH MORE that goes into the music biz, way more than folks realize. One example: why you have singles (one chosen track on a record) promoted/released to radio in a systematic way, as opposed to every single song on the record all at once. And now with Pandora, Spotify, Streaming … the music business has changed dramatically in the last decade+. I’m getting a little to deep at this point, and most folks probably aren’t all that interested, but, suffice it to say, Josh champions music, artists, and fully believes that our genre can change people’s lives. Including his own.

So meet my friend, Josh. Oh, and one more note: For King & Country did not let Josh go. He was working for their label at the time. So, I just wanted to make that clarification. He actually still works with them (and their record label) quite a bit, independently now. Only God can do that. I’m going to share his story first, and then his soup. Josh is married to Amy and they have two children, Alex & Abby.

This isn’t as much a story behind a song as it is a story of how God used a song in my life exactly when I needed it…a lot like He does for you if you have ears to listen.

Someone recently asked me what my biggest failure in life was and what I learned from it. Have you ever reflected on that? It’s really tough to look back and remember what it all felt like, but I remember it like it was yesterday. For me, it’s important to look back because when I do, I can clearly see the faithfulness of God in my life.

I lost my job in July of 2013. It was my dream job. I worked with people I loved and respected and I had an opportunity to play a role in launching the careers of some incredible artists, including a band you might know called for KING & COUNTRY. A lot happened in this season of my life that’s not important for this post, but what is important is that I failed…big time. I didn’t handle the things that came against me the way I wanted to. The success that we had went to my head. I bought my own hype. I responded in pride way more often than I even realized. It all led to a moment where I found myself on the outside of this company I loved so much. I was so afraid.

My wife and I had an 8 month old at home (who’s 5 now). We were 600 miles from our families and we were freaking out. On top of that, the loss of this job hurt. It hurt much worse than I ever imagined it could hurt. My initial response was “I’ll show YOU”. I started my own company. I thought I was going to save the music business. I did a lot of things I’m proud of in those two years, but what I’m most fond of as I look back was the time I spent working through that hurt…examining it, exploring it, feeling it. I realized during that time that I was building my entire life on what I did for a living. It became my identity. It became the thing that made me feel like I mattered…like I was someone.

It was easy to see this in some ways because everything I worked on for two years completely failed. I’d start on a project or managing an artist’s career and would have success with it. I’d start thinking I was something again and then it would all change…and fail…or I’d lose the client. I joined forces with a dear friend of mine who was having great success and then he lost his biggest client. It was a crushing blow. Nothing was working. It was like God was stripping away every layer of pride in my life until all I had was Jesus. I spent so much time seeking after God during those months. I didn’t know what else to do.

There are a thousand layers to this story that I won’t expand on here. However, I will share this. There was a moment in January of 2015 where I realized clearly what the Lord was doing. You see, He wants US. He doesn’t need us to become “someone”. He made us in His image. We are special…precious and honored in His sight (Isaiah 43:4). He rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). My failure led me to surrender. My greatest fears and pain led me to seek after Jesus. I didn’t need a career or success and realized quickly that those things, at the expense of my kids, my family, my marriage…they aren’t worth it. No money or success in the world is worth my kids growing up without me around…or my marriage falling apart. Matthew 6:33 says “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things will be added to you.”

I spent months and months seeking God. I yielded my dreams to Him. I became willing to do anything to provide for my family…even to the point of packing up our lives and moving back home to live with my parents for 10 months. I had no idea what I was going to do but I knew this: God would provide. He would do it.

In this period of surrender, He brought a good friend into my path who wondered how I was doing. I shared with him that I was miserable and broke and broken and that I was quitting the music business to move back home and that I was done…but so good with that. God was working and I knew it would be ok. He wasn’t ok with me quitting so he asked if I’d be involved in promoting music to radio stations again (which is my foundation in the music business). I said yes…I’d do whatever…as long as God was in it.

I had just spent the previous 34 years of my life doing things MY way. Seeking after MY dreams. Building MY kingdom. If anything good was going to come in this new season of my life, it would be because God did it. Not me.

One of the very first songs I got to share with radio stations was from an artist named Lauren Daigle. The song was called “First” and it was my theme song during the darkest times of my life up to that point. I had listened to it every day just to remember that Jesus was truly all I needed. Reflecting back on this gives me a lot of joy. He’s really been in every detail of my life…and yours. He wrote the story (read Psalm 139).

This song that had been medicine to my soul was one of the first songs I got to work with in a new era of my life and it became of the biggest songs in all of 2015. God has continued to bring me songs that I need EVERY day of my life…”Trust In You” from Lauren Daigle, “Great Are You Lord” from One Sonic Society, “King of the World” from Natalie Grant, “O Come To The Altar” from Elevation Worship, “Have It All” from Brian Johnson, “It’s Gonna Be Ok” from Brian and Jenn Johnson, “Take Courage” from Kristene DiMarco, “Do It Again” from Elevation Worship, “Reckless Love” from Cory Asbury. I need these reminders of who God is, what He’s done for me and how He continues to be faithful.

If you’re in a place where you have nothing left. Seek after Jesus. He never fails. He is enough. He is faithful and He is good.

Here’s a playlist I made of the songs that carried me through my darkest moments:

This is Josh Part 1. – The Story. I think I resonated with Josh’s story more than I realized. I had my dream job in country radio. And then in a flash, I didn’t. I thought my career world was over. But then, God gave me exceedingly and abundantly more than I ever could have imagined. And in the process, I found Him again. Maybe I’ll share that story soon. But, in the meantime, Josh. Part 2 – The Soup. is coming next.

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New Mom Support Group Meets Here

I often tease that I don’t believe my girlfriend, Becca, has ever sinned. Seriously. Becca is THE SWEETEST woman you will ever meet. Early on in our friendship, I would get this question the most about Becca: “Is she really that sweet?” I would laugh, and say, “YES! She really is!” But, she’s so much more than sweet. She’s wise. She’s loving. She’s fun. She’s loyal. She’s empathetic. She’s optimistic. And she’s one of my favorite people. EVER. I love her! Becca is the kind of friend everyone wants and needs. My favorite times with Becca have been curled up in her sunroom at her home in Nashville or on my back patio. Both places with a hot cup of coffee and hours of conversation about our faith, our marriages, our kids, our fears, our hopes, and what this journey God has called us to looks like. We both love Jesus with our whole hearts, but are upfront about insecurities that often creep in. Becca also happens to be married to one of your favorite CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) artists, Josh Wilson.

I texted Bec a few weeks ago, and asked her to blog about Motherhood. I told her to pick any aspect or topic that she wanted, and this is what she is sharing with us today!

Let’s hear it for all the Moms who are busting it every. single. day. Even though we can be dog-tired, emotionally-spent, and running in all directions, we love our babies and strive to do this Motherhood thing to the very best of our ability.

Meet my girlfriend, Becca:

Bec & Asher

 

Hello, my name is Becca Wilson. I am a wife and a mom, and I struggle with worry, pride, comparison, guilt that I’m not doing enough and the desire to be everyone’s best friend–ever, in the whole world! (Now you say, “Hello Becca!”)

Oh—we aren’t in a support group?! 😉

I struggled with these things big time before I became a mama, and as I was warned, motherhood has just intensified all my shortcomings.

I thought I knew what “stolen my heart” meant. I have the most wonderful, fun, loving, caring husband who I love so much and am in love with. But oh my goodness! Two years and four months ago, my heart went outside my body, and I became crazy about a boy named Asher. A boy who’s name literally means “happy.” He is joy and fun and LIFE and music and giggles (and typical toddler tears and tantrums). I now understand what I could have never understood before. You are just simply nuts in every way. Well, I guess I shouldn’t speak for you, so I AM SIMPLY NUTS IN EVERY WAY. I think that first year I was truly a crazy woman. Crazy in love. Crazy in worry. Crazy in insecurity. Crazy in comparison. Crazy overjoyed. I know every person is different as they enter motherhood, but I really felt like I entered it so very happily but so very ungracefully. I would hope I’m not alone in these feelings.

Bec & Josh

It certainly doesn’t help that we live in the age of social media. We watch others’ lives through filters and think they have it absolutely all together. We sit in our rocker holding our sleeping baby, feeling lonely, wondering if anyone is thinking about us, and we watch people be together in community. We see this mom who just gave birth to her twelfth child. She’s preparing healthy meals for her family for the entire month, posting about her favorite book she just read, with her perfect physique because she works out every day. (Some of these things happened, some of them didn’t, but you get the point!) These questions often pop into my head: Have I done something wrong? Does everyone else know something that I don’t about how to do this gig? Am I totally off track?

Being a follower of Jesus Christ, I also often worry that I’m not doing enough in His eyes and for His kingdom. I see others moving and grooving and accomplishing wonderful things (again, through social media…blah!), and I compare and regret that I am not doing enough as a person who longs to live and love as Jesus did.

Finally, it does NOT help that I am an extrovert and have learned more than ever before that I need connection with people to be energized. When you have a precious six month old that–just being completely transparent here–does not take a bottle and ONLY sleeps in your arms. . .you aren’t getting out and about much!

Motherhood threw me into the deep end, as it does with everyone who experiences it. Like I mentioned before, motherhood so magnified my shortcomings that I was close to crumbling emotionally and physically in every way. Leave it to loneliness, insecurity, comparison, and a torturous lack of sleep to bring you to your knees. Praise the Lord, at some point my heart and mind (and body) realized I needed to stop and REST. I needed to REST in the fact that I am not here to please any other person. I wrestled for so long about what “Becca’s purpose” was here on this planet. I would constantly go back, again and again, to the fact that my purpose (along with anyone else who says they are a Christian) is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind” and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). I cannot look to the left or the right and compare my story to anyone else’s.


Our world affirms and praises those who are doing grandiose things, and our culture wants to measure you by your accomplishments. You can’t measure a whole lot in my life except for the dust on my floor and the amount of blueberries in my kid’s belly. Motherhood is not glamorous. (Neither is Daddyhood.) It is mundane. It is hard. It is exhausting. It’s day in, day out. It can be lonely. But it’s also rich and eternal. And I believe my Savior, who I call King, Jesus, sees and cares and loves and provides for those that are doing this kind of work. And that’s really all that matters.

Gathered at the Passover feast, the disciples were keenly aware that someone needed to wash the others’ feet. The problem was that the only people who washed feet were the least. So there they sat, feet caked with dirt. It was such sore point that they were not even going to talk about it. Then Jesus took a towel and a basin and redefined greatness. [emphasis added] (Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster)

Thank you, Jesus, for making this mama’s small work grand. I give it to You.

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