I often tease that I don’t believe my girlfriend, Becca, has ever sinned. Seriously. Becca is THE SWEETEST woman you will ever meet. Early on in our friendship, I would get this question the most about Becca: “Is she really that sweet?” I would laugh, and say, “YES! She really is!” But, she’s so much more than sweet. She’s wise. She’s loving. She’s fun. She’s loyal. She’s empathetic. She’s optimistic. And she’s one of my favorite people. EVER. I love her! Becca is the kind of friend everyone wants and needs. My favorite times with Becca have been curled up in her sunroom at her home in Nashville or on my back patio. Both places with a hot cup of coffee and hours of conversation about our faith, our marriages, our kids, our fears, our hopes, and what this journey God has called us to looks like. We both love Jesus with our whole hearts, but are upfront about insecurities that often creep in. Becca also happens to be married to one of your favorite CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) artists, Josh Wilson.

I texted Bec a few weeks ago, and asked her to blog about Motherhood. I told her to pick any aspect or topic that she wanted, and this is what she is sharing with us today!

Let’s hear it for all the Moms who are busting it every. single. day. Even though we can be dog-tired, emotionally-spent, and running in all directions, we love our babies and strive to do this Motherhood thing to the very best of our ability.

Meet my girlfriend, Becca:

Bec & Asher


Hello, my name is Becca Wilson. I am a wife and a mom, and I struggle with worry, pride, comparison, guilt that I’m not doing enough and the desire to be everyone’s best friend–ever, in the whole world! (Now you say, “Hello Becca!”)

Oh—we aren’t in a support group?! 😉

I struggled with these things big time before I became a mama, and as I was warned, motherhood has just intensified all my shortcomings.

I thought I knew what “stolen my heart” meant. I have the most wonderful, fun, loving, caring husband who I love so much and am in love with. But oh my goodness! Two years and four months ago, my heart went outside my body, and I became crazy about a boy named Asher. A boy who’s name literally means “happy.” He is joy and fun and LIFE and music and giggles (and typical toddler tears and tantrums). I now understand what I could have never understood before. You are just simply nuts in every way. Well, I guess I shouldn’t speak for you, so I AM SIMPLY NUTS IN EVERY WAY. I think that first year I was truly a crazy woman. Crazy in love. Crazy in worry. Crazy in insecurity. Crazy in comparison. Crazy overjoyed. I know every person is different as they enter motherhood, but I really felt like I entered it so very happily but so very ungracefully. I would hope I’m not alone in these feelings.

Bec & Josh

It certainly doesn’t help that we live in the age of social media. We watch others’ lives through filters and think they have it absolutely all together. We sit in our rocker holding our sleeping baby, feeling lonely, wondering if anyone is thinking about us, and we watch people be together in community. We see this mom who just gave birth to her twelfth child. She’s preparing healthy meals for her family for the entire month, posting about her favorite book she just read, with her perfect physique because she works out every day. (Some of these things happened, some of them didn’t, but you get the point!) These questions often pop into my head: Have I done something wrong? Does everyone else know something that I don’t about how to do this gig? Am I totally off track?

Being a follower of Jesus Christ, I also often worry that I’m not doing enough in His eyes and for His kingdom. I see others moving and grooving and accomplishing wonderful things (again, through social media…blah!), and I compare and regret that I am not doing enough as a person who longs to live and love as Jesus did.

Finally, it does NOT help that I am an extrovert and have learned more than ever before that I need connection with people to be energized. When you have a precious six month old that–just being completely transparent here–does not take a bottle and ONLY sleeps in your arms. . .you aren’t getting out and about much!

Motherhood threw me into the deep end, as it does with everyone who experiences it. Like I mentioned before, motherhood so magnified my shortcomings that I was close to crumbling emotionally and physically in every way. Leave it to loneliness, insecurity, comparison, and a torturous lack of sleep to bring you to your knees. Praise the Lord, at some point my heart and mind (and body) realized I needed to stop and REST. I needed to REST in the fact that I am not here to please any other person. I wrestled for so long about what “Becca’s purpose” was here on this planet. I would constantly go back, again and again, to the fact that my purpose (along with anyone else who says they are a Christian) is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind” and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). I cannot look to the left or the right and compare my story to anyone else’s.

Our world affirms and praises those who are doing grandiose things, and our culture wants to measure you by your accomplishments. You can’t measure a whole lot in my life except for the dust on my floor and the amount of blueberries in my kid’s belly. Motherhood is not glamorous. (Neither is Daddyhood.) It is mundane. It is hard. It is exhausting. It’s day in, day out. It can be lonely. But it’s also rich and eternal. And I believe my Savior, who I call King, Jesus, sees and cares and loves and provides for those that are doing this kind of work. And that’s really all that matters.

Gathered at the Passover feast, the disciples were keenly aware that someone needed to wash the others’ feet. The problem was that the only people who washed feet were the least. So there they sat, feet caked with dirt. It was such sore point that they were not even going to talk about it. Then Jesus took a towel and a basin and redefined greatness. [emphasis added] (Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster)

Thank you, Jesus, for making this mama’s small work grand. I give it to You.

As I sit down to write this, it’s Valentine’s Day 2018. I was scrolling my Facebook notifications and came across this post from February 14, 2009.


We often tease in my family about how little I got in trouble growing up. This is not to say that I was a perfect kid, because I certainly was not, but I was much more scared about getting in trouble than tempted with the enjoyment of doing something wrong. Here was the line. . .and there was Haley, 20 feet behind it! I was the kid who grew up in church. I went to children’s church and Sunday school. I was the one who tried to talk to my friends about Jesus and invite them to youth group. I prayed every night and tried to represent Jesus as best I could. I was the classic “do all the right things and say all the right things” kind of kid.

I had one dream growing up: to attend the University of Florida! Having no connections to the school, I chose it in kindergarten because of a radio station bet my mom was involved with. (This was back in her country radio days.) For my entire academic career, UF was the school I worked toward. Throughout high school, I walked the halls saying things like ,“When I go to Florida. . .” or “When I get in.” Not “if,” but “when.” Not at all arrogant, right?

So February 13, 2009 came. I had applied to UF with an impressive high school transcript and a great SAT score. Everything was looking great, and all I had to do now was wait for their positive reply. I refreshed the computer, and to my disbelief I found a big, ugly, “We regret to inform you…” Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe my emotions that night. I felt like everything I had worked for and wanted my whole life – up to that point – had been taken away. To be very honest, I was mad at God. I remember going through each stage of grief with Him.

“God, you know this was the only thing I’ve ever wanted. Why would you not give this to me?”

“God, please! I’ll do anything if you let my appeal get through!”

These kinds of complaints went on and on and on in my prayers. Eventually, I even came to the point where I said—and I’m cringing as I write this—“You knew how important this was to me and you didn’t give it to me. I don’t want a relationship with you anymore.”  We swap pain for anger because it’s easier for a while.

Clearly, part of me saw God as my spiritual Santa Claus.

I realize now that getting into UF was an idol in my life. I felt like I needed to perform academically to be successful, and getting into the toughest school in our state was a way to measure how great I was. As the shy, overweight, insecure teenager I had been, getting into the toughest school in our state was a way for me to feel valued, like I was finally worthy of a great thing.

So, we filed an appeal. My mom and I skipped work and school one day and drove to Gainesville to try to talk to an administrator. My mom, who typically wouldn’t take personal liberties to this degree, even asked her Gainesville listeners if anyone knew of a way in for me. My desperation became my mom’s desperation and she so badly wanted to “fix” it for me. It just made no sense! My academic record was flawless. My test scores were high enough. My community service excelled. None of it helped. Not only did the door stay closed, but I’m pretty sure it was dead-bolted, with a brick wall built in front of it. The answer was very clearly “No.” God was allowing my dreams to be shattered, and in the process, shattering some of my false ideas about Him.

As it turned out (fortunately) God is not who I thought He was. He didn’t reject me, even though I had at my low point rejected Him. He pursued me hard, so that not even a year later I found myself sitting at a Passion conference in January 2010. Over three days, the messages and songs softened and healed my heart. I knew God was pulling me back to Him. And from that moment on, I never looked back.

For the next few years, the days around Valentine’s Day used to be so hard for me. Accepting God’s different plan for my life and seeing His goodness in drawing me back didn’t fully remove the sting. I still felt anger, resentment, embarrassment, rejection—all the things I thought I should be past, but wasn’t. It wasn’t until another Passion conference in 2015 that I felt like God was asking me to fully release it to Him, and by then I was finally ready to be obedient.

Now that I’ve come through this experience and graduated college (not UF – Go Bulls!), the thing I still think about is what I wish I could tell my 18 year old self, the very thing I’m now trying to tell my high school Young Life friends who are dealing with their own similar struggles.

Looking back to the devastated teenage Haley, I wish I could tell her about the God who is planning remarkable things for her life, things better than she could ever dream up herself!

I wish I could tell her that her value and worth is not even remotely based on the college she attends or where she ends up in her class.

I wish I could tell her that God loves her far more than she’ll ever comprehend.

I wish I could tell her that before she even knew what rejection was, she was chosen by God.

I wish I could tell her that God is not about crushing our emotions, dreams and goals. If it is a “no,” … it’s because there is a greater “yes!”


I know that compared to the stories so many people carry, not getting into my first-choice college isn’t a “real” problem. It’s entirely a first world thing. But February 13 came and went this year, and I didn’t even think twice about it. That date doesn’t hang like a weight around my neck anymore. The lessons God taught me and the outpouring of grace and love He showed me, have changed me into a person that sees God for who is He is and loves God because He’s God. He’s my creator. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. His plans truly are good, and better than we can imagine.

USF Homecoming 2017

Happy Valentines/Galentines/Palentines – essentially whatever you’re celebrating tomorrow – Day! I’m hosting my bible study tomorrow night, so us girls have decided to eat dark chocolate, learn about Daniel, and be each other’s Valentines! Totally works for me!

Tomorrow is also the 1st day of Lent. I didn’t grow up in the Catholic Church – actually probably the farthest thing from it – I grew up Southern Baptist. But, when I moved to Tampa in 1994, our Methodist church observed Holy Week. I loved every thing about it. Up to and including the practice of giving up something from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday. I liked having something as a reminder of the sacred season we’re in. This year I’m giving up Starbucks (don’t judge!) & shutting down Facebook.

As I mentioned at Christmas, I’ve become a huge fan of She Reads Truth. I will say my only “feedback” to the wonderful women in charge is the TINY font. I’m hoping I can get in touch with a few of them at some point, and ask them about Large Print versions. Ha! But, I digress.

I ordered these Lenten studies to give away this year. I opened one up today and realized it actually started yesterday (February 12). Oooops!! This is totally in line with my personality though – a day late, dollar short! But, we can catch up!!

She Reads Truth

I have 5 studies to give away. I will pick 5 winners at noon on Wednesday, February 14th. To register, comment below! I’d love to hear if you’re giving up anything for Lent. Oh maybe, what your favorite Easter tradition is, or any other fun fact you’d like to share with me!

Thanks for visiting me here, in this space. I love you very much! You make my heart happy.