I’ll be honest. I don’t love social media. By no means, am I “anti-social media,” it’s just not my favorite way to spend my free time. I do love keeping up with family and friends who don’t live near me, though. I love seeing all the pictures of their kids and fun things that they’re doing! I’m typically on Facebook on Saturday mornings, when I’m sipping my coffee, after Pete has left to be with clients for the day. I rarely check my Facebook messages (to me, it’s like email, and I can’t even keep up with my real email). I’m never on Twitter anymore, but I do scroll instagram pretty regularly. Again, it’s about the pictures for me. The truth is, if it weren’t for my job, I’d probably be an instagrammer and once a month Facebooker, but that’s about it. And not that you care about my social media habits, but I wanted to paint an accurate picture of what my usage is. I don’t live on social media. And I’m not one to have FOMO or wish I was living someone else’s life. To be sure, I have my “issues” but envy on social media is not one of them.


With all this said, a few weekends ago, I got caught up (FOR HOURS) scrolling through many of my high school friend’s pages. Something interesting happened and it really surprised me. The insecure, striving, Jr. High School girl that I once knew, made an appearance. I’m sure there’s an official name for this phenomenon, but for our purposes, I’ll just call it “Ewwww.”

Here’s what I mean: I wasn’t the most popular girl in high school by any means, but I did have a solid group of friends, and was friends with a lot of different groups of people. I don’t know about you, but we had categories. The uber populars, the preps, the rednecks, the nerds, the head bangers, etc. Happily, I had friends in each category. But, let’s be real. There were ALWAYS *those* kids that everybody wanted to be friends with. And with lots of these kids, I feel like I fell into the category of “being allowed in the room with them, but not quite invited to sit at the table with them” so to speak. It wasn’t like I wasn’t on their radar; I was. I just wasn’t in the holy of holies, had backstage passes, you know what I mean… in the inner, inner-circle.

And this is exactly what happened on my half a day+, long walk back down the halls of my high school the other day, figuratively speaking, of course. I started looking at who had liked what, who had commented, who had commented back, and who had liked the comments of the comments back. Oh, I was in the room again with them, because we are “Facebook friends!” BUT, I started noticing who never liked any of my pictures, who never commented on my pictures, who never liked my comments on their pictures, but they sure were liking all the comments above and below me. If this last statement sounds super whiney, immature, and irrational, WELP, that’s exactly how I was feeling at the time! And then it hit me…. “Carmen, you are about to be 46 – yes 46! – years old, and you are feeling all those same feelings you felt when you were 16. Get a grip!” It was the craziest thing! I finally (thank the Lord) closed my laptop, and moved on about my day. But here’s the thing, those feelings washed over me for the next several days.

And here’s the worst part: I even found myself going and commenting on a few folks pictures, a few days later, just to see if I could get any kind of response. Can you believe that?!! Part of me doesn’t even want to put that in print. But, it’s the truth. You see, all of these old feelings of insecurity and striving had made their way back to the surface all these years later. And here I am a grown woman! With a husband! And two grown daughters! How in the world could I be my 16 year old self again?

But here’s what I’ve learned in my (almost) 46 years. Satan is going to take the very thing that has a shred of truth to it, and then he’ll set about to confirm it. This is how he demoralizes us, and aims for our JOY. For example, he’s not going to try and convince me that I’m a prostitute or a drug addict. I will never believe that lie. But, he’ll try and convince me that I’m not good enough. Or that I don’t belong with the “cool kids” or that I’m a poser. Or that I might be a solid B-lister. But I could never make the A-list. He’ll bring back up all of those old hurts. Like the time a friend of mine looked me up and down and in front of a big group of people and said, “She’s got her Sedgefields on today, which means she’ll have on her Levi’s tomorrow.” I was in the 6th grade, and I wanted to die. My face turned hot red, and I wanted to melt into the floor. She had out’ed me. It was true. I only had 2 pairs of jeans at the time, and I rotated wearing them every other day. That moment is branded into my memory, and was a defining moment on the view I had on my (unworthy) self for years and years to come. Strive. Prove. Strive. Prove.

But, my sweet sister friends, it’s all just a bunch of bunk. It’s such a lie, and we don’t need to slurp it up with a spoon anymore!! I shouldn’t have back then, and I certainly don’t have to now. And we have to make every effort to make sure our daughters and younger sisters don’t believe these same things. We are ALREADY enough. We are ALREADY on God’s A list. God has ALREADY liked us. He has ALREADY commented on our pictures. And He has ALREADY liked our comments back to Him. 🙂 Oh, and we are ALREADY dressed cute in our jeans, or Lulus or whatever it is that we are currently wearing!

If you’ve experienced moments of insecurity lately, or if social media has you comparing your life to others, or you have a group of women that you are striving to sit at the table with, can I give you some sisterly advice? Give it up. Walk away. Take a break. Go hang out with Jesus for a while. Go talk to the women who really want to be your friend. Know and BELIEVE that you are ALREADY enough.

A friend of mine made these little frames at the end of one our bible studies years ago. I keep it on my nightstand. Maybe this coming weekend you could do a little arts & crafts project and make one for yourself and the women and girls in your life that you love most. It’s a nice tangible reminder of who we truly are.

who we truly are!

Love you!


PS: Yes, the picture above is my 18 year old Senior picture. But, it was the quickest one I could find. It’s close enough to my 16 year old self. Hair was just as high, and make-up was just as heavy.



GIRL! This just confirmed why I’ve been streadily decreasing my “need” for Facebook! I love catching a glimpse of the lives of so many that I’ve lost touch with, but slowly that desire became almost an intrusion into my own life, taking up WAY too much time and bringing “friends” back into my life that probably need to stay in the past for one reason or another. I have to say, I’m happy to say that I never even thought about the reaction I may or may not get when I comment but I do have a friend who actually worried about how many people had “unfriended” her, so I get it.

Thanks for the reminder to keep it all in God’s perspective, be intentional when it comes to “friending” and posting, and limit my exposure (!) to what others think/have/say…..actually excited for this confirmation, thanks Car 💖


Speaking of “friending” …. I need to see my friend! MISS YOU!! I’m thinking Bartaco should be in our future. It’s my new favorite place!!


If I only had a dollar for every time I let myself wallow in my insecure misery I’d be a wealthy woman indeed. The Enemy will whisper “not enough” until you hear him, and if you let him, he’ll leave you feeling worthless and hopeless. He hides behind your insecurity and keep you in self-imposed isolation so that no one else can point out your gifts and good qualities and remind you Who loves you so much that He died for you . He’ll keep you looking down if he can. Praise Jesus that He shoulders all our burdens and sins and unworthiness and calls us His own!


I love you Carmen and what a laugh! I work from my home and listen to you every Morning. What a blessing Joy FM has been to me.


Thank you, Ruth! And thanks for listening!


I totally agree with this and that is why I deleted my facebook 4 years …LOL. I miss sometimes not being able to keep up with some of my classmates but then again I don’t miss all the drama either that is shared on it. God Bless you Carmen and I listen to you guys every day. Keep up the Good Work!!!


Thanks for listening, Robin!


I’m so thankful I ran across this blog! I love you Carmen! I love listening to the Morning Cruise just to simply hear your quirky stories or your contagious laughter! My daughter is going through these insecurities at school and she’s ONLY 11yrs old! It’s so crazy how young kids have to deal with these things. Plus, she goes to a Christian school so whoever thinks stuff like that disappears going to one is sadly mistaken. Now, don’t get me wrong I love our school and it’s WAY better than the mess that goes on in public school. ANYWAY, I have tried to encourage and help her from my experiences with this when I was in school at her age over 20 yrs ago. I still feel like I haven’t been much help to her. Yesterday, I cried out for her to God to help her. She confirmed this morning as she left for school by saying…”You know mama how you tell me to not worry about said friend when she says mean stuff or ignores me and I didn’t…” BUT she was dealing with those insecure feelings and anxiously anticipating them for the day. She should not have to feel that way going to school. I told her to do the same thing today and I will pray for her. By reading this it has given me a new approach to help her and I will be reading this blog to her to show her others really do deal with it too and encourage her some more. Thank you so much for always being transparent!
Love, Your Sister in Christ


Oh Jennifer, I am praying for your sweet girl. I’ll be honest…. I am SO glad my girls are past the jr.high/high school years. It’s tough!! You could also take her to Secret Keeper Girl, too! It’s a great platform to help reinforce what we mommas are trying to teach them! Thanks for listening, and God Bless!


Awww Carmen…I’ve never read your blogs and í did today (despite being at work) because it’s always nice to go back to the supposedly happiest years of our lives, high school for me. But what happened was the same thing that happened when í started Facebook and connected with my friends back in Peru (middle school equivalent here) it brought back so much pain to remember that….and whomever had done bad to me did apologize through message…í felt like saying karma got you as í knew how hard theirs lives were…but as a Christian woman…all í could say was don’t worry…we are all grown up now and that is part of history.. You are absolutely correct Carmen… God loves us and that’s all we need to know, forgive those who hurt us is the loving thing to do. If we dwell on the past we’ll carry that pain and bitterness through our lives and that’s not what energy we want to spread to others. Thank you for sharing this reality per se..and remind us what we tend to forget; nothing should be more important than our Lord’s unconditional love. Hugs Carmen!!💞


Hugs back, Alicia! Thank you for your note!


Yes!! A million times over. Slowly weaning myself off of FB. Paige just keeps giving me excuses to be on it, though… lol 😉 Only for His glory, that is my new criteria.

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