I often tease that I don’t believe my girlfriend, Becca, has ever sinned. Seriously. Becca is THE SWEETEST woman you will ever meet. Early on in our friendship, I would get this question the most about Becca: “Is she really that sweet?” I would laugh, and say, “YES! She really is!” But, she’s so much more than sweet. She’s wise. She’s loving. She’s fun. She’s loyal. She’s empathetic. She’s optimistic. And she’s one of my favorite people. EVER. I love her! Becca is the kind of friend everyone wants and needs. My favorite times with Becca have been curled up in her sunroom at her home in Nashville or on my back patio. Both places with a hot cup of coffee and hours of conversation about our faith, our marriages, our kids, our fears, our hopes, and what this journey God has called us to looks like. We both love Jesus with our whole hearts, but are upfront about insecurities that often creep in. Becca also happens to be married to one of your favorite CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) artists, Josh Wilson.
I texted Bec a few weeks ago, and asked her to blog about Motherhood. I told her to pick any aspect or topic that she wanted, and this is what she is sharing with us today!
Let’s hear it for all the Moms who are busting it every. single. day. Even though we can be dog-tired, emotionally-spent, and running in all directions, we love our babies and strive to do this Motherhood thing to the very best of our ability.
Meet my girlfriend, Becca:
Hello, my name is Becca Wilson. I am a wife and a mom, and I struggle with worry, pride, comparison, guilt that I’m not doing enough and the desire to be everyone’s best friend–ever, in the whole world! (Now you say, “Hello Becca!”)
Oh—we aren’t in a support group?! 😉
I struggled with these things big time before I became a mama, and as I was warned, motherhood has just intensified all my shortcomings.
I thought I knew what “stolen my heart” meant. I have the most wonderful, fun, loving, caring husband who I love so much and am in love with. But oh my goodness! Two years and four months ago, my heart went outside my body, and I became crazy about a boy named Asher. A boy who’s name literally means “happy.” He is joy and fun and LIFE and music and giggles (and typical toddler tears and tantrums). I now understand what I could have never understood before. You are just simply nuts in every way. Well, I guess I shouldn’t speak for you, so I AM SIMPLY NUTS IN EVERY WAY. I think that first year I was truly a crazy woman. Crazy in love. Crazy in worry. Crazy in insecurity. Crazy in comparison. Crazy overjoyed. I know every person is different as they enter motherhood, but I really felt like I entered it so very happily but so very ungracefully. I would hope I’m not alone in these feelings.
It certainly doesn’t help that we live in the age of social media. We watch others’ lives through filters and think they have it absolutely all together. We sit in our rocker holding our sleeping baby, feeling lonely, wondering if anyone is thinking about us, and we watch people be together in community. We see this mom who just gave birth to her twelfth child. She’s preparing healthy meals for her family for the entire month, posting about her favorite book she just read, with her perfect physique because she works out every day. (Some of these things happened, some of them didn’t, but you get the point!) These questions often pop into my head: Have I done something wrong? Does everyone else know something that I don’t about how to do this gig? Am I totally off track?
Being a follower of Jesus Christ, I also often worry that I’m not doing enough in His eyes and for His kingdom. I see others moving and grooving and accomplishing wonderful things (again, through social media…blah!), and I compare and regret that I am not doing enough as a person who longs to live and love as Jesus did.
Finally, it does NOT help that I am an extrovert and have learned more than ever before that I need connection with people to be energized. When you have a precious six month old that–just being completely transparent here–does not take a bottle and ONLY sleeps in your arms. . .you aren’t getting out and about much!
Motherhood threw me into the deep end, as it does with everyone who experiences it. Like I mentioned before, motherhood so magnified my shortcomings that I was close to crumbling emotionally and physically in every way. Leave it to loneliness, insecurity, comparison, and a torturous lack of sleep to bring you to your knees. Praise the Lord, at some point my heart and mind (and body) realized I needed to stop and REST. I needed to REST in the fact that I am not here to please any other person. I wrestled for so long about what “Becca’s purpose” was here on this planet. I would constantly go back, again and again, to the fact that my purpose (along with anyone else who says they are a Christian) is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind” and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). I cannot look to the left or the right and compare my story to anyone else’s.
Our world affirms and praises those who are doing grandiose things, and our culture wants to measure you by your accomplishments. You can’t measure a whole lot in my life except for the dust on my floor and the amount of blueberries in my kid’s belly. Motherhood is not glamorous. (Neither is Daddyhood.) It is mundane. It is hard. It is exhausting. It’s day in, day out. It can be lonely. But it’s also rich and eternal. And I believe my Savior, who I call King, Jesus, sees and cares and loves and provides for those that are doing this kind of work. And that’s really all that matters.
Gathered at the Passover feast, the disciples were keenly aware that someone needed to wash the others’ feet. The problem was that the only people who washed feet were the least. So there they sat, feet caked with dirt. It was such sore point that they were not even going to talk about it. Then Jesus took a towel and a basin and redefined greatness. [emphasis added] (Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster)
Thank you, Jesus, for making this mama’s small work grand. I give it to You.